I waited a long time to get pregnant with Sam. not by choice. We had tried for over a year. Some where in that time Brent and I spoke to a friend from the ward and he said he hadn't found out with 4 out of their 5 kids. He talked about how it was a spiritual experience for them. So right then I decided I wasn't going to find out the gender of our next child. Brent agreed. I think a lot of people think you're crazy for not finding out. They say things like "I'm too much of a planner" or "it'll upset jackson if it's not what he thinks it'll be." It was hard not to know but I'm glad I did it. Before Jackson was born we had decided on the name Samuel Hutchison for a boy. A girl name was much harder but if he had been a boy it would have been Eva Rachel (our first girl name was eva elizabeth but it sounded like evil lizabeth when i pronounced it so we changed it.) brent said it wasn't after rachel my sister. but it was for me.
So I went in to labor early with Jackson so I just assumed I would with the second as well. even earlier i thought. so when i went past my due date i felt like i was a month overdue. i was in so much more pain in the 3rd trimester because i had jackson. so much more running, bending, playing on the ground, and such. i was so ready to have the baby.
i woke up at like 3am on the morning of the 26th. i never slept through the night and often had contractions so i didn't think much of it. but they persisted. i must have been noisy or something because at like 5 i asked brent if he was awake and he said yes. that is never the case. even when jackson walked in our room crying brent didn't hear it so i was surprised. i told him i thought i was going into labor so then we were just talking. no rush because the contractions still weren't close enough.
he had mentioned it before but he brought up the name sam for a second time. the first time i didn't think much of it. he told me it really meant something to him but he didn't tell me why. well wouldn't tell me why. i still don't know. i told him if it meant that much to him, he was the father, i'd go with sam. i knew i'd never call him sam if his name was samuel.
i went to take a shower and brent was supposed to get in after me. he fell asleep. of course. :) we dropped jackson off at grandma dee's then drove to the hospital. i was dialated and having effective contractions but they still weren't close. in fact after a few hours they still weren't close so they put me on pitocin. i had my epidural early so brent and i just enjoyed the day. we watched tv on hulu and really had a blast. it was like a date day. no kids. just us. and i didn't even feel guilty for not being with jackson cause i was busy, sort of.
at some point the nurse checked me and sam was really close. i pushed and his heart rate dropped and didn't come back up as quickly as she'd have liked so she called dr. schroeder. once dr. schroeder was there he came in one push. i don't remember who said it's a boy first i just remember breaking down immediately. crying uncontrollably because i was so happy. they quickly laid him on me and the emotions were so strong it's hard for me to write about them. even now my fingers shake to think about that moment. i remember brent was on the phone with grandparents. i couldn't think about anything but sam......and then jackson......and then sam and jackson. i was so happy it was a boy. i wanted a boy. i didn't admit that when i was pregnant and i wouldn't have even been sad if it had been a girl but i was thrilled it was a boy.
sam was easy from the start. jackson had a hard time not because of sam but i think more because there were so many extra adults around and he didn't get one on one time with mommy. he spent a few days with grandma jan. we were both much better for the break.
it's not a well written story. i don't have the time for that.
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