jacksons thoughts on bodies

things jackson said recently.

my grand-daddy passed away and we were talking about going down to the funeral. he asked about grand-daddy's bones.

jackson: where are they?

mom: his body is on earth and his spirit is in heaven.

j: can i touch his bones?

m: ...[hesitantly]... sure. you can hold his hand if you want to.

j: [thoughtfully] ok. if you're looking for me i'll be in the dirt.

m: huh?

j: you know, digging up his bones.

another day i was getting jackson dressed and i must have touched his hands on accident or something because he responded with.

j: mom! don't hurt my hands. [and then he held them close to his chest like he was protecting them] they're very special to me. God made them.

if you want to be excited about spending time with your kids...go to blogs that have fun things to do with them. plan things in advance to do with them. if you wake up everyday with the attitude "ugh, i have another day to spend without brent and to deal with kids." they'll see it in your attitude, act up, then you both resent the day and the relationship. BE PROACTIVE!!

other story:

monday night our fhe was on lehi's dream. jackson has been way obsessed with the idea of wanting to get to that tree since then. last night in his prayer he said "bless us that we can get to the tree and thank you that the nephites can't get there."

sacrifice for the things i love. i love my religion, my family, my home, my friends, my community.--thats the phrase that came into my head as i worked on my mission statement. i brought peace and happiness and it got me off of the couch of my funk zone.

2011 Goals

Brent has tried to break me of making goals basically since we got married. I know that sounds horrible, but its out of love. He noticed that i make lots of goals for myself and then when i fail I get way down on myself. I tend to make a new goal almost weekly so I can't keep up with them all. I've really tried to fix this about myself. I want to improve. I feel like life is all about improving to the end (not just enduring to the end.) So I want to be realistic about my goals. simple. i feel like the fad right now for women is finding ways to simplify their life. i mean its said so much on blogs and whatnot that i feel cliche saying it but at the same time its true. i think simplicity can bring peace and happiness. so what are the most important goals for me to have? i was thinking today (after i yelled at jackson) that i feel like i'm replacing a testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ with a testimony of virtues, characteristics, or principles. (haha simplicity). My testimony of the church i feel like has dwindled as i've focused on other important principles. So I guess thats my start--work on my testimony of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. [eek i just yelled at Jackson again for getting in my space. i will cringe at this in the distant and not distant future] #2 I want to write a personal mission statement. we're working on a family one as well. I'm reading 7 habits of highly effective families right now and this is his 2nd habit. In this goal I can tackle the principles that really do need my attention. things like anger, procrastination (specifically with children), blame, selfishness, jealousy etc. #3 I really want to prepare now for our future. food storage, baby #3 as well as college tuition. I want to learn how to cook from food storage. cook on a tighter budget. I do feel like Brent and I have been always savers. We do it naturally. This year will be hard because we already have to buy a new van. the camry died after 10 years. :( It will be a big expense and so we'll have to recover all of those savings as well as contribute a substantial amount to hsa for baby #3, our roth ira's, jackson and sam's savings, and of course extra payments to mortgage. but more than just financial preparation for harder times, i want to prepare myself by learning new skills and habits. my body for pregnancy. my kitchen should be better stocked and my cooking should be cheaper.

1. Strengthen my testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

2. Write a personal mission statement.

3. Prepare every needful thing.

ok there's my three goals. It's probably a lot but classifying them into three things makes it less overwhelming. I'm not sure how i'll measure the first one, or even accomplish it but I think I should definitely pray/fast regarding it. I do know the Lord will let me know.

feeling guilty

because today i realized i want what everybody else has. i'm not content with the many many MANY things i have. the reason i really feel bad is that i'm not a poor person that has nothing. brent makes plenty to support our family. we have lots of nice nice things. a gorgeous house. so much. but i can't stop thinking of things i want. i feel greedy and selfish. how can i set a good goal to better myself? how can i make it measurable?

confidence vs. bossiness

i think i sometimes mistake confidence for bossiness. I think I am a naturally passive person, and shy too. I think I thought that meant I didn't have confidence. It seemed to come to me out of nowhere that confidence isn't bossiness. it seems obvious probably. i think at times i would try to imitate confidence and it came off as bossy. I have decided that confidence isn't speaking your opinion a lot its trusting yourself. I can be totally confident and still be shy and passive.

Now I can finally be perfect!!

haha just kidding. but don't you think that its a lesson learned and worth recording?

prayers

Some of Jackson's recent prayers:

note: Jackson really thinks the Nephites are bad people.

Thank you for this day. Thank you for the Christmas season. Thank you for God and Jesus and Heavenly Father and that they can never be hurt by the Nephites.

Thank you that I can play with Scott, and Jesus.

His prayers are always full of lots of thank yous and he always says thank you that we can have fun as a family which is a constant reminder to me of how important that is for him.

oh and also, when he gets mad at me he scowls, points his finger at me and says "mommy you're a nephite!"

heaven

Freda Borden died this week. I was talking to Jackson about how when we die our body and spirit separate and our spirit goes to heaven to live with Jesus. He told me he didn't want to live there but he wanted to live on earth. i told him that we would all be a family in heaven and we'd be together forever. after thinking a second he asked the most important question a boy needs to know....what kind of food does Jesus have? does he have watermelon? i bet he has orange juice. that's the only kind of drink he needs.