parenting fail #11,242

Sam eats his boogers.

Come on Sam!!

That's gross.

Sam at 2.5

Oh Sam.  I just chopped your hair and i miss your long too cool locks.  You're suddenly so big.  so so big.  You want so much to be with/like Jackson.  its funny how many pictures i've taken and you're looking at hitm so you can do what he's doing.  When you're getting in trouble you're cheerful and agreeable.  When you're being playful you get this intense mean growling face with a pursed mouth and a throaty growl.  You roar when you're mad at somebody (just following the example Jackson set for you.)  You gravitate towards balls--like you did from the beginning.  Today, you begged me to throw the baseball to you to tryi to hit but i didn't do it because i was talking to a neighbor.  now i feel bad.  then you picked up jacksons beseball glove and tried to get me to throw to you.  i did a little but then you put the ball on the tee and tried to hit it and even tried to catch it with the glove--yes, still off of a tee.  I believe originating from your love of sports, you only want to wear 2 pair of athletic shorts--everyday.  I'll put you to bed for a nap in one outfit and almost daily you'll wake up in one of those two pair of shorts.  If you find them in the laundry pile you will immediately change into them.  I'm nervous about what will happen in the winter!  This morning it was 40 outside but you insisted on your shorts.  I won though and put you in jeans, jeans that kept falling off because you're 2.5 but 2T jeans are still too big.  skinny short boy.  i suppose it was my fault when you ran out of the house without pants today.  now that jackson is in school you miss him.  i feel sorry for you when you come in wearing your penguin backpack asking to go to school with jackson.  i want you to sleep in but when i come in to wake up jackson you jump out of bed.  "i wan sirul.  i wan shtawbewwy chotit milt"  you cute boy that cant say his "k" sounds but says them all with a t.  jatton. tootie.   we have had some good times though with a little bit of extra one on one time.  i like saying yes when you ask to go to the playground even though i know you'll want to swing the whole time.  friday, jackson was out of school and we decided to go to as many parks as we could in one day.  we went downtown and went first to the sunsphere and you're still talking about it.  so innocent.  one day when my answer is "we'll go back some day" it will sound like a no but when you're 2 that's a yes and you cheer and give an arm pump and an enthusiastic "yes! we goin to sunsphere some day!"  its different being a second child.  you're more territorial than jackson was.  when you have something and somebody tries to take it you stand your ground and will quite stubborn.  until you win.  and then you give it to them.  you really are loving.  when i leave to take jackson to school you run out the door saying bye mom!  love you!  love you!  tiss! hug!   you very affectionately call eva viva and we all love it.  now i call her viva as much as eva.  jackson refused to sleep without kiki but you have always been more flexible with gleeglee.  in fact, you're just more flexible all around.  you have your opinions but you'll go along with insistence.  you must say every prayer.  if somebody else prays.  it must be your turn next.  sacrament meeting is our time too.  we always sit together.  you play with my face, my jewelry, my hair.  we hug and play as quietly as possible but you always laugh too loud when we play rock-a-bye.  its probably my favorite part of church.  there are few things that make me as happy as bonding with you there.  you are so special.  happy. friendly, kind. goofy, funny, little, messy (you spilled the "shtawbewwy chotit milt" on the couch this week), helpful, excited. perfect.

Sam's mischief begins

Sam loves to knock down my dvds. He knocks them down constantly. so much that I won't pick them up immediately. This week he knocked a whole bunch down and I just ignored it for several days. I didn't pick them up until the missionaries were coming over on Wednesday night--like 45 minutes before they came. When they got here, the dvds were knocked down. ergh. silly baby.

Brent was getting Sam a cup of milk the other day and got frustrated that there was a full sippy cup of milk in the drawer with the empty cups. He starts calling for Jackson to get on to him. No sweetie. That's sam. He likes to put his cup of milk away with the other cups.

So yesterday I was really sick. fever. throwing up. sick. I was laying on the couch when I could hear sam crawling up the stairs. He does that a lot now when we leave the gate open. I followed him up the stairs just to make sure he didn't hurt himself then lay on the top step like a slug. Sam continued crawling to the bonus room playing with toys. Jackson doesn't like playing alone with toys. I love that Sam does. I'm sure it has something to do with pecking order. It was cute.

Feeding babies

Today, I love nursing. I don't always love it. I want to remember today though. I love how easily Sam curls into my arms. I love how when he gets distracted he comes off smiling and looking around to see what the fun thing is thats going on. I especially love nursing when he's in a diaper. Just so much skin is sweet. It's our bonding time. I love this age because crying fits are easy to solve. Nursing comforts him. I love how it makes me stop when I'm busy and just be with him. I love it--today.

Sam's birth story

It's 3.5 months after the fact but I think it's important to remember things like this. So here goes.

I waited a long time to get pregnant with Sam. not by choice. We had tried for over a year. Some where in that time Brent and I spoke to a friend from the ward and he said he hadn't found out with 4 out of their 5 kids. He talked about how it was a spiritual experience for them. So right then I decided I wasn't going to find out the gender of our next child. Brent agreed. I think a lot of people think you're crazy for not finding out. They say things like "I'm too much of a planner" or "it'll upset jackson if it's not what he thinks it'll be." It was hard not to know but I'm glad I did it. Before Jackson was born we had decided on the name Samuel Hutchison for a boy. A girl name was much harder but if he had been a boy it would have been Eva Rachel (our first girl name was eva elizabeth but it sounded like evil lizabeth when i pronounced it so we changed it.) brent said it wasn't after rachel my sister. but it was for me.

So I went in to labor early with Jackson so I just assumed I would with the second as well. even earlier i thought. so when i went past my due date i felt like i was a month overdue. i was in so much more pain in the 3rd trimester because i had jackson. so much more running, bending, playing on the ground, and such. i was so ready to have the baby.

i woke up at like 3am on the morning of the 26th. i never slept through the night and often had contractions so i didn't think much of it. but they persisted. i must have been noisy or something because at like 5 i asked brent if he was awake and he said yes. that is never the case. even when jackson walked in our room crying brent didn't hear it so i was surprised. i told him i thought i was going into labor so then we were just talking. no rush because the contractions still weren't close enough.

he had mentioned it before but he brought up the name sam for a second time. the first time i didn't think much of it. he told me it really meant something to him but he didn't tell me why. well wouldn't tell me why. i still don't know. i told him if it meant that much to him, he was the father, i'd go with sam. i knew i'd never call him sam if his name was samuel.

i went to take a shower and brent was supposed to get in after me. he fell asleep. of course. :) we dropped jackson off at grandma dee's then drove to the hospital. i was dialated and having effective contractions but they still weren't close. in fact after a few hours they still weren't close so they put me on pitocin. i had my epidural early so brent and i just enjoyed the day. we watched tv on hulu and really had a blast. it was like a date day. no kids. just us. and i didn't even feel guilty for not being with jackson cause i was busy, sort of.

at some point the nurse checked me and sam was really close. i pushed and his heart rate dropped and didn't come back up as quickly as she'd have liked so she called dr. schroeder. once dr. schroeder was there he came in one push. i don't remember who said it's a boy first i just remember breaking down immediately. crying uncontrollably because i was so happy. they quickly laid him on me and the emotions were so strong it's hard for me to write about them. even now my fingers shake to think about that moment. i remember brent was on the phone with grandparents. i couldn't think about anything but sam......and then jackson......and then sam and jackson. i was so happy it was a boy. i wanted a boy. i didn't admit that when i was pregnant and i wouldn't have even been sad if it had been a girl but i was thrilled it was a boy.

sam was easy from the start. jackson had a hard time not because of sam but i think more because there were so many extra adults around and he didn't get one on one time with mommy. he spent a few days with grandma jan. we were both much better for the break.

it's not a well written story. i don't have the time for that.