Eva .5

Eva.  Although i've told people over the past week we've had an estranged relationship. thats not true now.  true, you've been waking up more at night.  crying louder.  even longer.  but how can you be mad at somebody so beautiful!  today you just laughed and were so perfect all previous resentments faded.  you watched me bake cookies just chewing on a spoon.  funny.  you like spoons as long as they don't have baby food on them.  then you can't stand them.  i love holding you on my lap.  its so funny to see those adorably chunky legs be so flexible.  your favorite toy happens to also be your most accessible--your toes.  the way you laugh when you hold them cracks me up!  oh eva you laugh so hard too!  i love it when you get to giggling because we all can't contain ourselves.  daddy and jackson get you giggling the hardest.  poor jackson.  he always wants to hold you.  sometimes i feel like friends and neighbors hold you more than him though because i always seem to say "jackson you can hold her anytime but they're just visiting."  when i was pregnant i had a hard time getting excited about a girl but i tell you now i cant get enough pink.  not to make sure people call you a girl but just because prettiness suits you.  my favorite is putting you in the dresses rachel and i wore as babies.  while it took some courage and more than a few attempts, i now love putting your hair into a tiny pigtail with a tiny bow.  everyday i like getting you dressed.  even when its hand-me-down clothes you seem to make everything look better.  you are so funny.  when i lay you on your back you hold your head up as long as you can.  you finally fall but then try to sit up again.  its like your holding a crunch.  the boys always wanted to be lain down on their backs but you prefer your tummy.  you've starting pulling up on your knees and bouncing, lunging forward ever so slightly but steadily.  im a little bummed.  i love the crawling age but i also love the sitting stuck in one spot phase.  its funny.  you're close to crawling and yet you have never rolled from your back to your front.  you're like a beetle stuck on your back.  when you accidentally rolled to your back today sam came running down the hall saying "help viva rolled over!"  he could see your helplessness.  everybody loves how easy it is to get you to smile.  and when you smile back everybody feels better.  there is something about getting positive feedback from a baby that just makes you feel like a better person.  like if there is a true judge of character, its a baby, and she seems to think i'm ok.  i just love to think that my daughter can bring that kind of peace and assurance to others.  a self confidence and even awareness of God's love.  i certainly feel God's love around you.  He gave me YOU! he must LOVE me.  When i hold you sometimes you push your cheeks on mine and i can hardly move because i just dont want the moment to ever end.  i love you!.