after browsing all of the beautiful mothers day blogs

i decided i wanted loads and loads of kids. i watched this video and thought wow, my kids must have siblings. they are like automatic friends forever. there to laugh with us, and at us. i want to have some girls. jackson has mentioned several times to me recently he already loves his sister. he just can't decide what to name her. i also think families of all boys look so fun. the moms seem tough but yet so feminine. then i see families of all girls and i think that looks fun too. i will admit though, i don't think brent could handle that. i mean he could because he can do anything but.... it would be a struggle. sometimes i think 2 is too much for me and maybe i'm gonna have a mental breakdown but right now. i'm ready for more. yearning for more. eager. heart pounding kind of ready. i see brent's siblings and of course my own memories with my family and i think one of the best gifts you can give a child is a sibling. best friends forever.

other random thoughts. so this month brent and i really struggled with the budget. it was blown in three categories: gas, miscellaneous, and groceries. now we are very careful people. brent had to go to chattanooga at the end of the month and needed supplies and food and of course to get there. you could justify it by saying these were unexpected and overall good that he went. we also fed the missionaries and family and friends. and jackson really needed shorts etc. when i mentioned it to brent this morning i mentioned that i hadn't paid our tithing yet because we didn't have brent's paystub. i don't feel guilty because of course we'll pay it when we get it but then brent said something i agree with. the lord won't bless us with more money for paying tithing (he could, its within his power) but he's more likely to bless us by guiding our decisions. he'll bless us with willpower at target when we're feeling tempted. it was one of those moments that the spirit confirmed the truth of this. i love brent. i'm grateful for the spiritual way he can teach.