do i write the bad?

so jackson and i have had a rough go recently. i dont know if i want to write about that or not. i mean maybe when my daughter calls me crying because her three year old won't stop screaming it will help me remember. thats what i did to my mom actually on monday. i texted her "i need someone to beat my child." i mean its just the normal tantrums its just hard to remember its normal when you look around and everybody around you seems to be staring at you. or when you ask him why he pooped his pants and he says "cause i don't like you." sometimes, surprisingly, a three year old can say stinging things. brent has been understanding and sympathetic. he tells me not to judge him by his tantrums and outbursts because those are his natural behaviors. its human nature to lash out. judge him by his growth and advancement. the good times.

people tell me all the time how grateful he is. i mean he doesn't just say thank you when he should but its "ooohhh thank you soooo much papa for giving me a ride in your verble (convertible)." he is so loving. like monday when he screamed the minute we walked out the gym doors til we were well down the road and the thought occurred to me to reach out and hold his hand and immediately he stopped. oh and he can curl up in my lap and i literally feel like i can hold him this age forever. like if i let go he'll grow up faster. forgetting everything and actually wanting him to stay his age forever. he is forgiving. i yell and yet the minute i stop he crumples into me. hugging me and saying he loves me.